Thursday, July 28, 2005

The Empty Suit (Computer) Responds!


A Well-Programmed Computer

As noted in several posts earlier this month, the New York Times public editor, Barney Calame, shrugged at a ripoff of this blog by a Times reporter, before going back to sleep on the divan. In the course of that, I received two actual replies from the Empty Suit himself -- even though, I have to admit, they were written in such a mechanical style that they might have been generated by a computer.

Well, today I received two identically worded emails, both in response to emails I sent him almost a month ago -- and both of which he has already blown off.

Note the warmth, the humanity. With a computer like this, why bother with a high-priced, do-nothing Empty Suit serving as a de facto Times PR man?

Both emails read as follows:

"Thank you for your comments.

"Everything sent to this mailbox is read by either me or my associate, Joseph Plambeck. If a further reply is appropriate, you will be hearing from us shortly. Don't forget, when referring to a specific article please include its date, section and headline. "

"If you do not wish your message to be published or relayed to other editors and reporters, be sure to let us know.
-- Byron Calame
Public Editor"

Well, obviously they are read carefully! No question about that. My automatically generated computer-composed email responded as follows:

"Thank you very much for your email. Everything sent to this mailbox will be read by a computer program that will send back to you a computer-generated email, while I doze off on the divan and wait for my contract to run out.

"While you are waiting for me to wake up, I suggest that you read this enlightening article in the National Review Online: http://media.nationalreview.com/069852.asp on the Empty Suit, Barney Calame. You can then proceed to the posts below referenced by NRO media critic Steve Spruiell. Thank you again for your interest in Mediacrity, and please excuse me while I go back to sleep:

http://mediacrity.blogspot.com/2005/07/empty-suit-upstages-himself.html

http://mediacrity.blogspot.com/2005/07/more-on-calame-ity.html

http://mediacrity.blogspot.com/2005/07/empty-suit-watch-calame-hits-another.html

http://mediacrity.blogspot.com/2005/07/empty-suit-continuing-series.html

http://mediacrity.blogspot.com/2005/07/miracle-continues.html

http://mediacrity.blogspot.com/2005/07/miracle-on-43rd-street-calame-clears.html

your friend,

The Mediacrity Blog"

To which I received two reponses identical to the one quoted, and to which my computer is generating (when I finish this post) another automated response identical to the one above.

I don't know about you, but all this emailing is tiring! I'm taking a snooze on the divan.
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